Instructions on Creating An Atomic Sledgehammer: obtain a vehicle. The more bullet-shaped, the better. A high speed train would be ideal, but if unavailable you may substitute an automobile. E.g., a minivan. Or a hearse. spraypaint entire vehicle (incl. windows) fly yellow. If desired, wheels may be painted silver for effect. create large sledghammer stencil. […]

Word of the day: quaff. There’s really nothing for me to say, other than that quaff is a seriously underused word. More to the point, I guess, quaff is far more interesting than its brothers and sisters. Drink. Swallow. Sorry if these words are putting you to sleep, but I had to bring them into […]

–so you walk in, but who said anything about the hats? Nobody said anything about the hats; of this you are adamant. Outcomes were promised, things were said. But what can you really promise? A woman dressed entirely in corduroy promises, she will not tell you the proper way to defuse a bomb made to […]

We?re walking down the hallway. It?s never really dirty, but no one ever seems to clean it. Deirdre says that maybe they clean it after we leave and go home. But I say that there?s never even a chance for it to get dirty. If anything, it looks cleaner at the end of the day than at the beginning. Marty says maybe you?re projecting again. I say maybe I am.

Convenience is something, a concept that becomes warped in our minds through our strange way of living on top of the planet. And, opposite convenience (we imagine) is this creature called inconvenience. Like day and night, or night and day. There’s also this thing called necessity, but it’s more often than not conflated with convenience, such that any situation bordering on inconvenience is perceived as an affront to our very existence. After all, it’s an obstacle to the necessities of life, like access to constant routes of (mental) escape, like cold and hot food, like cold and hot water, like constant routes of escape from cold and hot weather.

The only reason to act is to change the paradigm within which you think, therefore enabling you to change the minds of other people. Don?t recycle to save trees–recycle because it makes sense. Don?t buy organic because you want to be healthy or because you want to support organic farmers–buy organic because it makes sense.