in medias res: hats

–so you walk in, but who said anything about the hats? Nobody said anything about the hats; of this you are adamant. Outcomes were promised, things were said. But what can you really promise? A woman dressed entirely in corduroy promises, she will not tell you the proper way to defuse a bomb made to look like a clock radio. A man who’s sitting down, he promises never to reveal the thing you must do if you find yourself in a room surrounded by hyenas. A thin man drinking through a straw notes that his promise is to never reveal his social-security number. (Never? No, never, he says.) And me? I never promised anything, not about the hats, not about telling you about?