Seth Stevenson attempts to answer questions that you probably (okay, definitely) do have about those Quizno’s Sub creatures. Like, What are they? (I honestly would have been content never knowing, but the explanation is strangely comforting.)
If you don’t want to bother reading the article, the answer—part of it, anyway— is that they’re Spongmonkeys. Although people have apparently called them everything from “drug-addled, castrato hamsters” to “hell lemurs,” so I’m guessing you’d be well within your rights no matter what appellation you’ve taken to calling them.
(via randomwalks via Slate: The Creatures From the Sandwich Shop, by Seth Stevenson [Feb 23, 2004])