Outside there’s a whorl of green, leaves being ripped from trees and carried in the wind. It’s relatively mild, all things considered; if this is what someone had told me the End of the World would be like, I wouldn’t have believed it. Where’s the chaos? Where are the looters? I still don’t believe it, and neither should you.
Isn’t there supposed to be fire or something?
Brimstone, AKA sulfur, boils at 835.88 °F.
https://www.swordbilled.com/relatively-mild/
More than any other year in recent memory (recent memory being about five years, give or take), I’ve managed to see an outstanding line-up of movies. (Don’t get me wrong–there were massive duds, too; like The Punisher, and Primer, and Dogville.) Some of them were actually released this year, but most of them have been around for a while, making their appearance by way of Netflix. Here’s where I say a word or two about the best I’ve seen.
For novelty purposes, I’m going to divide the movies into semi-arbitrary categories and then pick a category winner. Keep in mind the fact that I’ve already culled the herd (because, honestly, it would be embarrassing to pit, say, The Mummy Returns against Dellamorte Dellamore in the “undead” category).
1. Movies Released This Year
Contenders: Casino Royale; The Prestige; The Proposition; The Science of Sleep; X3
There’s X3, which holds its own as a decent action movie. Not exactly brilliant, but a fine addition to the X-Men franchise. Unfortunately, it doesn’t really stand much of a chance of winning here, so let’s move to The Proposition, which comes up as a natural must-see for Nick Cave fans. An Australian western, filled with spectacular imagery, stand-out acting, and held up by a surprisingly solid plot. Gruesome, as you might expect. Maybe more. I was blown away by The Science of Sleep, which took me almost totally by surprise. This movie is the quirkier, more independent, more heart-wrenchingly brilliant, distant cousin of Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind (which was crafted by the same director, Michel Gondry). The Prestige, a movie about dueling magicians, by Christopher Nolan (of Memento, Insomnia, and Batman Begins), is intentionally clever, but–and this is where individual mileage may vary–by the end of the movie, it was more clever than I’d given it credit for. And that made it as impressive as the magic tricks it meant to portray. And for theatre-fare, the last real contender is Casino Royale. Which, honestly, I loved–but which still doesn’t stand a chance against The Science of Sleep.
Winner: The Science of Sleep.
2. Documentaries
Contenders: Fog of War; Why We Fight; Winged Migration
Fog of War (about Robert McNamara) is historically interesting yet still relevant, and Winged Migration is wholly spectacular and a movie I’m glad I got the chance to see on the big screen; but Why We Fight was the movie that astounded me most of all. Maybe it does preach to the choir, but it does so with vigor and conviction.
Winner: Why We Fight.
3. Noir (Or Something Like It)
Contenders: Brick; Heist; Jackie Brown; Shadow of a Doubt
Admittedly, this is a scattershot realm of noir-ish movies, but it’ll have to do. Shadow of a Doubt sets a high standard, but despite its good execution and status as a “classic”, felt a bit dated, even if it does still have the power to surprise. Heist and Jackie Brown both pay tribute to Shadow in their own ways. Heist is one of David Mamet’s outings, and true to form, it’s filled with fantastic lines, strong acting, and a curious, cock-eyed rhythm. Jackie Brown somehow ends up being Pulp Fiction’s less-referenced poor relation, even though it’s nearly as strong. Each film in this category is astounding in its own way, and in a few years, Brick may fall by the wayside, a brief flickering that never really made its impact on film history. But for now, Brick is my favorite. Confident, lyric, and spooky, Brick casts a startling shadow.
Winner: Brick.
4. Not Alive, Not Dead
Contenders: Alice; Dellamorte Dellamore; Otesanek
Be it zombies or animated animal pelts or a dead log, this is surely a strange competition. Alice is a surreal stop-animation retelling of Alice in Wonderland; it uses animal bones and household objects, socks and pots, dolls and keys to create a hugely surreal landscape. Otesanek, by the same director, tells the story of a childless couple that take in a piece of tree root which (naturally) becomes animate, and hungry for human flesh, at that (of course). But Dellamorte Dellamore (re-titled in English as “Cemetery Man”) is the most captivating of the lot, telling a story in which zombies are, if anything, a minor detail, and loneliness, confusion, and loss are the presiding factors.
Winner: Dellamorte Dellamore.
5. It’s A Crime
Contenders: Heat; Io Non Ho Paura; Le Professionnel
Each of these movies is about a different kind of crime. Heat concerns what we think of (by way of film, mostly) as “professional” crime: painstakingly choreographed crime, flawlessly executed and nearly certain to be successful. Io Non Ho Paura (“I’m not afraid”) is about the kind of beast professional crime becomes when it invades the lives of ordinary people. And Le Professionnel is essentially the story of state-sponsored crime, spies trained to kill other countries’ officials. Heat brings with it a stellar cast and excellent production values. Io Non Ho Paura brings nuance and compelling morality plays: a story you can believe, one that involves not superstars and machine-guns, but down-the-street neighbors and greed. Le Professionnel brings style, and totally unfettered panache. Heat is in many regards the best movie of the group, but Le Professionnel wins my vote because it dares to end with style.
Winner: Le Professionnel.
6. Strange Connectors
Contenders: Carnages; Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind; Kontroll; Oldboy
These are movies about interconnectedness. In Carnages, everyone is connected by the remains of a slaughtered bull, eating its flesh and buying its parts and puzzling over the meaning of it all. It’s a gimmick, but it works, kind of. Oldboy is a crime-drama/thriller in which the characters’ connection really doesn’t emerge until the end–and when it does, you’re either convinced, or not. Compelling, but absurd. Frantic, but paced. Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind is about the connection of memory, and what the world might be like where we could… Well, you know. Erase it, and stuff. Love could be a dirty word, and fate wonders what kind of place it has in the world. But Kontroll, a beautifully serene tale of friendship and redemption (or something close enough) that’s just a bit too convoluted to be a parable, cut-and-dried, steals my heart. And my vote.
Winner: Kontroll.
7. Absurd to Reason
Contenders: Brazil; Delicatessen; Howl’s Moving Castle; I Heart Huckabees; Ivan Vasilevich menyaet professiyu
Of course it’s not reality, that’s why we love it so much. Ivan Vasilevich Menyaet Professiyu lets Ivan the Terrible and one of his modern descendants switch places, and does so to comical effect. It’s a fun gag, all the better since the movie’s actually in Russian. Brazil is comical, but dark: a future wound up in bureaucratic incompetence (all the more horrifying because it’s recognizable), technology, and blood. Wildly imaginative, like everything Terry Gilliam does. Howl’s Moving Castle, magical, murky fare from the ever-splendid Miyazaki, shows us a world of war and demons, enchanted scarecrows (or…?) and canine spies. Delicatessen is dark, like Brazil, but contains a larger spark of hope that things might turn out right, even if people are eating one another. The moral of the story: as long as there are clowns, we can overcome cannibalism? Or…? But I Heart Huckabees is the most hopeful of all, promising, maybe, that all the nonsense in the world will find its own way to work out, if we just let it. The characters in the other movies dance awkwardly around their unreasonable worlds, but in I Heart Huckabees, you get the feeling that everyone actually develops, even if all that really means is they get hit in the face.
Winner: I Heart Huckabees.
Overall winner…
Oh, you’ve got to be kidding; I’m not a miracle-worker.
https://www.swordbilled.com/movies-best-of-2006/
Books are so popular in home decor that even people who don’t read acquire them. They buy volumes by the yard at Half Price Books. They send orders off to a California book-decor specialist who ships Danish language books by the foot.
No comment.
Danish? Well, they aren’t meant to be read.
Unless you happen to read Danish. In which case, they are.
Perhaps the ultimate signal that books are decor came when a recent Pottery Barn catalogue showed an entire bookcase with the books turned backward, annoying mismatched spines facing inward, all in an attempt to achieve a neutral, uniform look.
Because… Oh, never mind.
Can’t find a particular book on that shelf? That isn’t the point. As a decorating technique, books work even better when they’ve been read.
Okay.
Then books become signs of a full life, one of inquiry and imagination. Well-loved books are invitations to linger and relax. They are conversation starters. They are small monuments to our interests and passions. As antiquarian book dealer Michael Utt says, “When you look at a person’s books, you can see into his soul.”
—
The trend toward books as decor-only is jarring to longtime book collectors, such as Mr. Utt.
“You should collect what you love,” he says. Or, at least, invest in something you want to read.
—
Here are tips from the experts on how to decorate with books.
That’s “experts”.
Make it personal If you loved your last trip to Oaxaca, a stack of books on regional Mexican art will evoke memories. That’s one way books personalize a room, says interior designer Debbie Chirillo. If Matisse is your favourite artist, a few books of his work will establish your taste. NASCAR your thing? There are books on that, too.
You mean to say that people write books about things they find interesting? How novel.
Stack books on the floor or in baskets. The casual arrangement makes them inviting.
What a brilliant idea… stack books… on the floor.
Create interesting storage Paint a wooden ladder black and use it to shelve an assortment of books, says Leni Leth on www.hgtv.com. Leth runs Book Decor, the California company that sells foreign books by the foot for the express purpose of looking at them rather than reading them. Danish books cost US$100 a foot, German are US$150 a foot and French are US$200. More info at bookdecor.com.
And the reason people care about the language of books they’re not reading…?
A lamp that is too low for its location can be raised by placing it on a stack of books, says designer Linda French. Custom bases can be ordered to raise lamps, but a stack of books is a more personal touch.
Again, brilliant! Make a light higher… by putting it on top of books! Never would’ve thought of that myself.
Create platforms Accessories stand out when they are placed atop a stack of books.
Show them off Stack nicely bound books on end tables or on tables behind sofas. Books add height, create interest and make a room feel lived in.
Jackets on or off Take book jackets off to create a more subdued colour palette. Leave pretty jackets on large art or garden books.
Make a table Put a pile of large books next to a chair. Top with a small piece of glass. Use as an end table.
(a Knight-Ridder news article, initially found someplace, then rediscovered over at the National Post [in Canada]: “Books smarten up a room.” [July 13, 2006]; originally pointed out at The Millions)
https://www.swordbilled.com/books-smarten-up-a-room-annotated-edition/
https://www.swordbilled.com/in-the-news-opposites-attack/
Because, I don’t know, you needed a refresher on lock-picking, or you’ve been looking for the Cheshire Catalyst (“What?” “Exactly.”), or it’s too much effort to find your cell-phone manual on the manufacturer’s web-site? Maybe pdf.textfiles.com has what you’re looking for, and maybe it doesn’t. Deal.
https://www.swordbilled.com/semi-handy-pdfs/
Q: “What’s your biggest fear?”
A: “I fear idiots. Any kind on any level.”
(via an interview in, of all places, Adweek Magazine)
https://www.swordbilled.com/something-i-can-finally-agree-on-with-lewis-black/
Create all sorts of fun maps thanks to the folks at the MLA: map language-speakers by county, by zip code, and all sorts of other good stuff. Pull-down menus and such let you re-draw the map according to your curiosity. (The above map, FYI, is of Hungarian speakers by county. I think. Of course, handily, I didn’t include the color-coded key, so if you’re really curious, you’ll have to dial up the map yourself.)
https://www.swordbilled.com/language-maps/
Three-year-old Robert Moore went fishing for a stuffed replica of Sponge Bob and ended up trapped in a vending machine.
…
A stuffed Sponge Bob in a vending machine’s bin caught Robert’s eye. He tried without success to fish it out with a plastic crane. “I told him I could get it for him,” his grandmother said. “He’s a character. He said, ‘Oh no, I can get it.'” When she turned her back to get another dollar for a second try, Robert took off his coat and squeezed through an opening in the machine. He landed in the stuffed animal cube. “I turned around and looked for him, and he said, ‘Oma, I’m in here,” Bierdemann said. “I thought I would have a heart attack.”
And in the end… he didn’t even get the stuffed Sponge Bob.
(AP/Mercury News: “Toddler gets stuck in vending machine.” [Oct 24, 2006])
https://www.swordbilled.com/let-this-be-a-lesson-to-you/
Who says you can’t craft a totally compelling story around a horned dog named after an imaginary card game?
Walter Moers’ 13 1/2 Lives of Captain Bluebear was most excellent, and this book surpasses even that. It’s cartwheeling, free-associating, spectacle-topping, coincidence-breaking fun, pure and simple. Though of course it isn’t simple. Nothing in Zamonia is, really.
The story begins with a tiny horned puppy, raised by dwarves (a kind of dwarf called a Hackonian, in case you were interested). But of course it can’t always be crumpets and daisies; sooner or later, everyone’s carted off to a free-roaming island by one-eyed giants that like to eat their prey live (the livelier, the better). And it’s from there that the story gets its wings and flies well beyond the stratosphere of creativity.
The titular Rumo is, as we find out, a Wolperting–a horned, superquick, civilized warrior dog. Held captive by the one-eyed beasts on Roaming Rock, he’s given the name ‘Rumo’ by a giant, eight-armed semi-aquatic and bulbous Shark Grub called Smyke.
But let’s not give away too much. Curious, astounding things happen, fate is defied, and we learn a little more about Zamonia and all its bizarre inhabitants in the process. Rumo’s a born hero–that much you should know: if you were hoping for a book centered around a vain, evil, megalomaniac badger-creature with wings, this isn’t the book for you.
Rumo is an epic like not much else. A different kind of epic. There’s alchemy, fortune-telling, sentient weapons, talking trees, living fog. Journeys beyond death. Rumo falls in love, learns cabinetry, and journeys into lands typically braved only by the criminally deranged and the dangerously brutish.
More than that, the story is wickedly, brilliantly paced. It’s filled with comical (and occasionally frightening) illustrations by the author, who also happens to be a cartoonist. You follow Rumo along through danger and excitement with an unshakable curiosity and sense of awe, and before you know it, you’re at the end of the book, wishing you were only getting started.
Maybe you can go back and re-read The 13 1/2 Lives of Captain Bluebear.
https://www.swordbilled.com/rumo-his-miraculous-adventures/
It’s not so strange that some men experienced hallucinations after eating some popular fish–though it is apparently (and thankfully) rare. The strange part is that it’s reported in Practical Fishkeeping magazine. Though I guess eating fish you keep in your aquarium is all kinds of practical… Probably not the kind of practicality the magazine’s advocating, though.
A fun, related fact: the species of fish consumed by the men was used “as a recreational drug in the Med[iterranean] during the Roman Empire”.
(via PFK: “Men hallucinate after eating fish.” [Apr 19, 2006])
https://www.swordbilled.com/fish-strike-back/