Not that kind of luck

This would be utterly laughable, if not for the fact that it’s, what’s the word, frightening?

Somewhere in the world, there’s a navy blue suitcase with a small pack of explosives tucked in its side pocket.

Four days after police at Charles de Gaulle Airport slipped some plastic explosives into a random passenger’s bag as part of an exercise for sniffer dogs, it is still missing—and authorities are stumped and embarrassed.

As Bruce Schneier notes, it’s reasonable for authorities to plant real plastic explosives in a test of airport security, but it is completely ridiculous for the “plant” to be an innocent, random bystander.

Unfortunately, it shouldn’t take any kind of security expert to figure this out.

I’m all for suspense, but ladies and gents, let’s keep it in the movies.


(via Schneier on Security: “How Not to Test Airport Security” [December 20, 2004]; MSNBC/AP: “A police exercise with the stuff of mystery” [December 7, 2004])

Banana-lovers, rejoice

Are you fed up with bringing bananas to work or school only to find them bruised and squashed?

Yes!!!

Our unique, patented device allows for the safe transport and storage of individual bananas letting you enjoy perfect bananas anytime, anywhere.

At long last. About time, I say.

Protect your Banana!

(via BoingBoing)

Looking For Alaska

Looking for Alaska, by John GreenLooking for Alaska
by John Green

Looking For Alaska is apparently a young adult book. That I had no idea of this fact until I checked some of the book’s details on Amazon is perhaps testament to the quality of the book, or to my own idiocy. As usual, the answer probably lies somewhere in between.

Looking For Alaska is a kind of coming-of-age story and existential dilemma that concerns Miles Halter leaving home for boarding school. Almost immediately upon arriving, Miles falls into the right (or wrong) crowd of characters; luckily for you, he and his newfound friends have just the right chemistry, and their rants, antics, and surprisingly intelligent philosophical discussions carry the first half of the novel.

Note that I said “first half.”

Sadly, when their focus changes in the second half, the novel suffers. Which is unfortunate, given that the first half essentially sets the stage for the second half. And that the book is based on the supposition that the questions raised in the second half are worth chasing.

A paradox, yes. But not one you need to resolve in order to like (or dislike) the book.

The writing itself is good, and the characters, if a little ahead of their time, are at least portrayed consistently. (You may or may not find them convincing boarding school students.) They all have interesting quirks—Miles is obsessed with last words, for instance—and are sympathetic sorts of people, despite their many flaws.

This, in a way, is a good description of the novel itself: a sympathetic sort of book, despite its many flaws.

Good stuff, for a debut novel.

Pages: 1 2

We No Wanna Clean Up

Despite minimal oversight, now the Pentagon apparently feels it is too constrained by its existing environmental responsibilities. Lovely.

The Pentagon is becoming a cold, calculating beast.

Oh, er…

Never mind.


(truthout: “Pentagon to Jettison Environmental Responsibilities” [December 14, 2004], via Planetizen)

Hoyt began moving his lips as if he were trying to suck the ice cream off the top of a cone without using his teeth

I don’t have much in the way of an opinion regarding Tom Wolfe, but I have absolutely no desire to sample any of his writing.

This certainly isn’t about to change my mind.

(Guardian: “Wolfe scoops Bad Sex award,” by Michelle Pauli [December 14, 2004])

Ballad of the Whiskey Robber

Ballad of the Whiskey Robber
by Julian Rubinstein

Attila Ambrus is king. True, he may not do so well with relationships. And his hockey goalie skills may leave much to be desired (though not his dedication), and he may have something of a compulsive personality when it comes to drinking and gambling.

But when it comes to robbery, he is the indisputable king.

(In Hungary in the 1990s, anyway.)

Ballad of the Whiskey Robber1 is one of the best non-fiction books I’ve read. Ever. Hands down. In fact, it’s one of the best non-fiction books I will ever read—it’s that good. By some outrageous fluke, Ballad marries truly excellent writing (that of Julian Rubinstein) to an outstanding true story (that of Whiskey Robber Attila Ambrus), a phenomenon that happens all too rarely.

Trying to find his way in the world and piece together a living, Attila Ambrus stumbles upon the fact that his quick mind is suited perfectly to robbing banks and post offices.

The story—by which I mean the true life story, i.e., the story on which the book is based—is itself nearly impossible to believe. When I say “nearly,” just think: impossible. At numerous points throught the book, I honestly turned back to the front cover to double check the whole “TRUE STORY” part, because I couldn’t believe it.

Everything fits together perfectly.

Mostly.

Julian Rubinstein is an excellent storyteller, and Attila Ambrus is a perfect story-maker.

This is a book that you must read.

Now.

Notes:
1 full title: “Ballad of the Whiskey Robber: A true story of bank heists, ice hockey, Transylvanian pelt smuggling, moonlighting detectives, and broken hearts”

Furl/unFurl

The nifty little link-log to the right will be (has been) retired. In its place you will find a similar list, the difference being that this new list is generated by something called Furl.

I’ll keep this short and sweet because, let’s face it, you don’t come here to stay up-to-date with the goings on of technology. There are probably like newspapers, or magazines, or whatsits—websites?—for that sort of thing.

But I think Furl is great. It lets you (yes, you!) archive any page on the web. Once archived, these pages can be instantly recalled by searching your own personal archive; you can at a later date recall the content of pages you’ve saved, a feature that’s absolutely fantastic for, e.g., newspaper articles and other such things that become inaccessible after a period of time.

Isn’t that incredible? Admittedly, the same thing can be accomplished by hitting “save”, but Furl has the advantage of being centralized, readily searchable, and tremendously user-friendly.

There are also a bunch of other features too. You can probably find out about them yourself.

I always hate it when that happens

Three hooded bandits in eastern Australia bungled a would-be robbery when they apparently mistook a restaurant’s sliding door for a swinging one, police said.

(AP: “Eatery’s sliding door foils would-be bandits”)

Dead Rich

When you read the SEC filings as regularly as I do, you come across all sorts of crazy names that companies use to describe various payments to top executives. But last week, I stumbled across a new one: a death retention bonus. Retention bonuses, which have become increasingly popular, are theoretically used to keep an executive in his or her job once the company is acquired or a new management team comes on board. The key to the bonus is that the employee is usually required to continue showing up for work in order to collect. But that’s a bit difficult to do when someone is, say, six feet underground. Still, that didn’t stop Furniture Brands International (FBN) , manufacturers of such furniture brand names as Broyhill and Thomasville, from taking a creative spin on deferred compensation by creating what it calls a “death retention bonus” for its top three employees. In a recent 8-K, the company noted that it had agreed to provide such bonuses to President John Foy, senior vice president Lynn Chipperfield and Broyhill president and CEO Dennis Burgette. Though the filing makes note of a dollar amount in Schedule A, the schedule was not included in the recent filing, so it’s hard to figure out how much death is worth to the three execs. But there’s no faking death just to collect. Under the terms of the agreement, beneficiaries must present proof of death in order to collect their money.

(via Michelle Leder’s Footnoted.org)

No kidding?

It wasn’t exactly the perfect getaway vehicle. A man took off on a lawnmower moments after he allegedly threw two Molotov cocktails at his ex-girlfriend’s apartment building, police said. He was arrested Saturday night after a brief, slow-speed chase.

(AP: “Lawnmower-Riding Man Captured After Chase” [December 7, 2004])