From the files

Q: Ever since seeing a Lamborghini in the movie Rising Sun, I’ve had what you might call a preternatural lust to buy one. Well, I thought I’d have to live with this for my entire life—this insatiable, impossible desire. I thought, as you might imagine, that buying one would be way out of my league. Well, recently I came into an extraordinary stroke of luck: I met a Lamborghini owner who was leaving the country and needed to sell his car (an ’87 Anniversario Countach), which I was able to buy for $20,000. More recently, I’ve had the occasion to wonder whether the car is genuine. First of all, some of my friends (albeit the more distant ones) claim that I should be able to find some kind of bull-insignia on the hood of the car. More troubling is the fact that I’ve noticed, quite recently, that the speedometer only goes up to 140mph. Now, I realize that 140mph is well above the legal speed limit, but I can’t help but wondering whether this doesn’t seem a little slow for a car so fast-looking. Was I taken for a ride?

Michael,
from Magnolia, DE


A: First of all, the car in Rising Sun was a Vector, not a Lamborghini. Which I suppose is not your most egregious mistake (we’ll get to that in a moment), but that’s not the point. The point is, you’re a moron. Although I guess that’s not really the main point, either; I guess the point is that you don’t actually have a Lamborghini in your possession. Fact. I’d bet you $20,000 that you don’t. Let me spell it out for you. Assuming the car actually runs (it does run, doesn’t it?), there’s basically no way you could buy it (in the hypothetical scenario that it was a Lamborghini) for $20,000. Okay? My knowledge here is limited, but I’d be willing to guarantee that. Yes, there should be some kind of insignia or something on the car. The fact that—based on your admittedly questionable observations—the car has no visible insignia/logo/etc. is inherently suspicious. But that’s really a minor quibble. More importantly, you’re right in wondering whether 140mph might be a little too phlegmatic for such a sporty car. It is. Even more suspicious, however, is the fact that no Lamborghini Anniversarios were built in 1987. None were built until September 1988, as a matter-of-fact. What I really have to wonder about, however, is why you’re writing to a horticulture advice columnist for help on your automotive woes. Ignoring for the moment the fact that I was able, I think, to fairly adequately address your question, I only ask: why? Why? Why?

Tom “Sagebush” Salieri

Intelligent and astute, you have a persuasive manner and are an excellent promoter.

It’s funny that we can impart meaning on something as aberrantly vague as “you are expert at probing the motivation of others.” But I guess all we want is some hidden insight into the future, and if there’s even a shadow of a possibility that we might decipher something from a book and/or newspaper, we’ll grasp for it like hungry rats at a cube of ham.

(And I guess it is interesting, somehow, though mostly interesting simply because it seems like the sort of thing that shouldn’t be interesting. Anyway.)

On This Beautiful Day In History:

Today in 1933 the infamous German Reichstag fire engulfed the eponymous building, burning it to the ground. (You can also read the Manchester Guardian article [which is mis-dated March].)

On this date in 1961, J-L Godard’s Breathless (“À Bout de Souffle”) gets to premiere in U.S. movie theaters.

Gulf War I ends (1991).

Other Stuff You May (Or May Not) Find Interesting:

Mel’s The Passion etc. etc. is put in a context where it belongs. Which I don’t mean in a bad way, necessarily. All I’m saying is, Groundhog Day really does deserve to be looked at as a spiritual film. (via Christian Science Monitor)

Ever hear of Tuvalu? Hint: it’s a country. Recently, this tiny island nation has been pummeled (or is still being pummeled? I’m not entirely sure) by extra active King Tides. The 3 meter tides aren’t going to completely submerge the islands (which are at most 4.5 m above sea level), but they are going to be an uncomfortable reminder of the almost inevitable disappearance of the islands under a rising ocean, thanks to global warming. Here are two very curious facts. Fact 1: the population of the islands (eight of them) is about 12,000. Fact 2: neither Australia nor New Zealand have yet agreed to offer sanctuary in the event of the islands being completely flooded. (BBC)

Fun Golf Facts

Amount of water it would take, per day, to support 4.7 billion people at the UN daily minimum:

2.5 billion gallons

Amount of water used, per day, to irrigate the world’s golf courses:

2.5 billion gallons

Average amount of pesticides used per acre, per year, on golf courses:

18.0 pounds

Average amount of pesticides used, per acre, per year, in agriculture:

2.7 pounds

(via WorldWatch Institute’s Matters of Scale (March/April 2004))

“There is no longer sufficient evidence for a realistic prospect of conviction”

Which is good news, at least.

Race To The Bottom

“I knew a girl once,” Simcha was saying, “who absolutely refused to call me by my real name.”

      I never really trusted Simcha behind the wheel of an automobile.
Read the full post »

Max

(2002) dir. Menno Meyjes – with Leelee Sobieski, Molly Parker, John Cusack. Oh, and Noah Taylor as Hitler.

Synopsis: A fictionalized look into the life of Hitler (yes, that Hitler) as a young man, using an interesting story to try to examine what factors contributed to the Hitler that is now etched irrevocably into history and minds. This movie revolves around young Adolf Hitler’s bizarre, if tenuous, friendship with a Jewish art dealer (that would be John Cusack). In no way excuses what Hitler became, but does try to wonder how.


Noah Taylor – A Portrait of the Failed Artist as a Young Man

Review: I liked this movie. It is serious and at times uncomfortable—as any movie covering this topic should be—but keeps itself afloat with a periodic infusion of mild humor. Just the right amount. ‘Max’ doesn’t make Hitler likeable, but it does help remind us that he was human. Which is an important point if we’re not going to be fated to repeat the past, etc. etc. etc. This movie lets you feel some empathy for the character (at least, I could) without coming anywhere near a rationalization or justification for what Hitler became. Another thing I should point out is, the movie’s title is Max. Max is the art dealer character played by John Cusack. Hitler is not exactly a minor character, but he’s also not the person you see on screen the most; a lot of the movie is spent building context and fleshing out the storyline of Max’s life. All in all, a generally well-done and provocative movie. (The ending’s kind of predictable, but there’s only so much you can do when you have a real person figuring into your story.)

Rating: [••••] out of [•••••]

Etc.: Max Rothman: “Hitler, come on, I’ll buy you a glass of lemonade.” imdb info

Things I’d never thought I’d end up saying, #37

“Cell phones aren’t inherently evil.”

Though it seems ironic, apparently cell phones are helping to “bridge the telephonic divide,” bringing rich and poor countries closer together when it comes to communication ability.

In part this narrowing inequality has to do with the fact that cell phone towers are actually much cheaper to build than the infrastructure that’s required for fixed-line phones. This makes sense if you think about it, though it’s certainly not automatically apparent to anyone who uses either kind of phone. Particularly since the people who have lived their whole lives in a consoling array of communication technologies come to expect that all these things will be available for them (telephones, cell phones, computers, TV, radio…) to the extent that temporary lapses in, say, phone service, evinces an almost automatic reaction of complaint.

Cell phones, despite their spotty performance, have probably only enhanced this reaction—to the extent that we now (many of us) expect constant attachment to a means of communication.

As anyone can tell you, there are certain people for whom this attachment is a real necessity, not imagined. Paramedics, for instance. For the most part I’ve assumed that cell phones were generally a cancer-like growth on society, spun wildly out of control and used entirely out of proportion to their necessity.

This, when you think about it, is actually kind of selfish.

To say that cell phones are basically an unnecessary good, one the world would not hurt to see disappear, neglects the fact that this is only true, all other things being equal. All other things are not equal. Not in the least bit.

Annual Growth Rate in Phone Connections
(Cellular and Fixed-Line) by Income Level of Country, 1992–2001 (WorldWatch Institute)

Thanks in part to mobile phones, gaps in phone access are being narrowed at an increasingly frenetic pace. And with cellular phone access, you also open the window of possibility for increased internet access.

Granted, the ‘internet divide’ today is still quite marked: 41 users per 100 people in the industrial world vs. 2.3 per 100 in the developed world. A 17 to 1 ratio doesn’t exactly sound a dazzling trumpet of equality. But it helps to put things into perspective when you look back and realize that the ratio, as of 1995, was 40 to 1. While providing access to Amazon.com, streaming radio, and Oakley.com isn’t exactly going to solve all the world’s problems, the internet can provide pathways to economic development1, a la linkages between rural farmers and market information, would-be patients and information about treatment facilities and doctors, etc.

Okay, so there’s still a certain breed of cell phone user for which I have nothing but a few choice words. But cell phones have finally managed to escape my mild disgust.

:: :: ::

1 Caveat: “economic development” is a dangerously ambiguous term that I’m only using here as a prop to keep this post focused on communication and not economics.

Birds Attacking

Saw a memo on my desk, everyone else gone from the office, memo said: birds attacking. That’s all it said. Well, and To: (my name) and Cc: and the Date and our company’s Name and everything, but other than that. My radio-in my car-was turned off for the time being, what with there being a pledge drive on the public radio station and not much else to listen to, so I didn’t hear how there were tanks lined up around the perimeter of the Parkcrest Hills Shopping Complex; I didn’t hear how there were men (and women) with something that looked like grenade launchers, not that your average citizen would happen to know what a grenade launcher looked like, and some kind of heavy body-armor and the kind of thing you see them wearing in movies about disease, like the full-body suits that are white or blue or orange, with the boxy helmet and clear plastic face-plate. My cell-phone was on the fritz too, I think the battery was dying. All I saw was the memo that said, birds attacking.

I was always the last one to know. No one ever told me anything.

That bastion of radical environmentalism, The Pentagon

I’m as suspicious of “secret reports” as the next guy, but this one seems to merit some attention.

The report, dug up by those folks at The Observer, predicts catastrophic climactic change (e.g., increasingly violent storms making the Netherlands largely uninhabitable by, say, 2007), worldwide riots, a significant increase in the number of days above 90°F in the US and Europe, wars fought primarily over access to water (and worsened by rampant nuclear proliferation goaded on by countries’ efforts to secure access to food, water, and energy supplies), etc.

Oh, right. And the report was commissioned by the Pentagon (specifically, Andrew Marshall, a P-gon defense advisor).

Surprised?

The Observer article is here, and a bulleted list of some of the study’s major findings/predictions is here.

Fun with Polls: Sex, the Media, and You!

Q: “In your view, does the entertainment industry need to make a serious effort to significantly reduce the amount of sex and violence in its movies, television shows and music, or don’t you think they need to do this?”

Gallup Poll. Feb. 6-8, 2004. N=1,008 adults nationwide. MoE ? 3.
Need To Don’t Need To No Opinion
2/04 75% 24% 1%
6/95 83% 16% 1%

Q: “On another topic, there has been controversy over Janet Jackson’s exposure of her breast during halftime entertainment at the Super Bowl. Which of these positions comes closer to your view regarding Janet Jackson’s exposure? Television has reached a new low in bad taste. People who are protesting this incident are overreacting.”

Time/CNN Poll conducted by Harris Interactive. Feb. 5-6, 2004. N=1,000 adults nationwide. MoE ? 3.1 (total sample).
New Low Overreacting Unsure
18-34 years 29% 66% 5%
35-49 49% 46% 5%
50-64 58% 40% 2%
65+ 67% 28% 5%

Two interesting, if not terribly surpring and/or meaningful polls. The thing that most surprised me about poll #1 was the fact that such a high percentage of people agree (or pretend to agree) that the ent. industry should definitely do something about all the sex&violence that happen to show up in its products (imagine that! how did it get there? I dunno. think we should do something about it? nah, it seems to sell movies. you’re right, how foolish of me— let’s add more…). Less surprising is that fewer people today (assuming the drop is stat. sig., which is very well may not be) think the s&v are something for which Entertainment should take responsibility. This despite the probable increased incidence and prominence of s&v in entertainment today. Following a wildly unproductive vein of speculation: is this due to increased permissiveness, or decreased sensitivity? (And is there a difference?) My guess would be that it’s the sensitivity, not permissiveness. I’m basing this on the assumption that it takes more than nine years for any real, deep chances in what society’s prone to accept with open arms. Or red-eyed indifference, as the case may be. Just a thought. Thought #2 re: poll #2 is that, well, no surprise there. What’s most surprising is probably how unsurprising it is, in fact; how completely, devastatingly predictable the results are. I wonder if there are some highly unexpected and unpredictable factors playing into the ultimate picture of things. I wouldn’t be surprised if I were surprised by whatever an inquiring mind found. (That, for instance, this isn’t an inevitable trend that can be fitted equally well to any decade or period. I have no idea if this is true or not, but I’d expect it to have at least a grain of truth to it.)

p.s. both of these polls are drawn from www.pollingreport.com