When you hear this, look up and you may even see this.
It’s really disappointing, in a place crowded by people, to hear such a thing, see such a thing, and see no one else noticing.
When you hear this, look up
Posted by Ben on October 28, 2008
https://www.swordbilled.com/when-you-hear-this-look-up/
You Know You Want More
- Reading: read (most of) Kelly Link’s Magic For Beginners online, for free, legitimately! (And then read an interview with her at Meeting House Mag.) [via Bookslut]
- Watching: watch Stalker, online. It’s a movie by the guy who did the good Solaris. What’s not to like? [via Warren Ellis]
- Listening: all about con men. And by “all about”, we mean “some about”. Which is still more interesting than none about. Australian con men, mind you. Though there’s presumably some universality to conning. [source misplaced]
- Anticipating: Timecrimes.
- Remembering: That word… you know… the one with… it’s like… Whatever. Finally, a resource for finding the word you kind of sort of remember, partially. [Tip of My Tongue, via Lifehacker]
Posted by Ben on October 23, 2008
https://www.swordbilled.com/you-know-you-want-more/
Shocking!
Criggo is my new favorite frivolous blog indulgence.
Posted by Ben on October 16, 2008
https://www.swordbilled.com/shocking/
Hellboy 2: The Golden Army
(2008) dir Guillermo del Toro – w/ Ron Perlman, Selma Blair, Doug Jones, Doug Jones & Doug Jones, James Dodd, Jeffrey Tambor, Anna Walton, Briane Steele, and John Hurt. Why did Mr. Wink have to be Evil!
Synopsis: Evil elvy-type wants to take back earth from greedy, selfish humans. Wants to do so through battle. Using magical invincible robot sorts of things (the Golden Army). Selling point: it’s an invincible army. Cons: wake of utter destruction. Secret illegal task-force to the rescue! (Hopefully.) Hellboy & Co. spring into action.
Review: What’s surprising is that Hellboy II did not in fact have ten times the production budget of the first Hellboy — because that’s what it feels like. The creatures are astonishing, as is the detail of all the characters. You could cut out the audio and dub in pretty much any movie’s dialogue, and Hellboy II would still be worth watching.
Which is good, because the story actually isn’t all that great. Story-wise, I’m actually more fond of the first Hellboy. Hellboy II has some interesting, intricate points, but is generally quite derivative, predictable, and bland, even. The dialogue is occasionally phenomenal, and some scenes are ridiculously awesome–but then the movie gets dragged down by other scenes, and by awful, stilted dialogue. Then there’s a fight, or a new monster, or a new world, and the story doesn’t actually matter that much. Because the creatures are spectacular.
Hellboy II is actually okay, and I enjoyed watching it a great deal. But given the performance of the first movie, and given some of del Toro’s other recent excursions, I’d expected much more. Still, I’d sit through a Hellboy III. And IV. We’ll see about a V.
Rating: [•••½] out of [•••••]
Posted by Ben on October 14, 2008
https://www.swordbilled.com/hellboy-2-the-golden-army/
What a difference a year makes in Transformers
Last year at this time I was 81% Jazz; this time around, I’m 84% Optimus Prime.
Things are looking Up.
(Nothing against Jazz, mind you.)
I AM
84%
OPTIMUS PRIMETake the Transformers Quiz
Posted by Ben on October 14, 2008
https://www.swordbilled.com/what-a-difference-a-year-makes-in-transformers/
Books, telling stories
I’ve always wanted to do something like this, but haven’t gotten around to it. Book spines, telling stories. You don’t even need to open them!
(via Bookslut via TMN)
Posted by Ben on October 5, 2008
https://www.swordbilled.com/books-telling-stories/
Once again, “If you give a moose a muffin” comes to the rescue
Filed under Things I Am Bad At: Judge a book by its cover. The goal of this (simple, difficult) game is to guess the average number of stars under the book’s listing on Amazon. You get a running tally of how many you guessed correctly.
Posted by Ben on October 2, 2008
https://www.swordbilled.com/once-again-if-you-give-a-moose-a-muffin-comes-to-the-rescue/
Headhunter
(2005) dir Paul Tarantino – w/ Benjamin John Carillo as would-be upwardly mobile insurance agent, Mark Aiken as Dougie, Kristi Clainos as Sarah, and Ralph Lister as, apparently, “The Man”. I don’t really remember who that might be.
Synopsis: A happy office drone wants a little more out of his workplace environment, and feels he might get a better job elsewhere. No troubles so far. He gets recommended a headhunter by a client/friend, and figures–why not! It can’t hurt to look. Naturally, he gets a new job right away. The new headhunter really did the trick! The hours are a little bit… strange. And the co-workers are… well… They’re strange, too. But the money’s good, am I right? What’s a little curse, when you’re laughing all the way to the bank? Or grave… Puns, horror, and camp follow.
Review: As you might guess from the DVD cover, this is not a high-production-value film. It’s not, say, Rosemary’s Baby. So what I’m about to say may come as a surprise.
This is an excellent film!
Not exactly good. But simultaneously earnest and campy, in all the right places. “Headhunter” knows when to downplay the supernatural, and traffic in innuendo and good old-fashioned story-telling instead. (Don’t worry–there are some special effects. And they are very special.)
You have your standard murder curse haunting story, more or less. The people involved do stupid things, but not unreasonably stupid things. (If it were a true story, and you believed in curses, their actions would be 100% believable.) Most of the movie takes place in office buildings and parking lots and very ordinary places, and without any special effects whatsoever. Which is one of the movie’s saving graces; it’s campy when it should be, and silly, and ridiculous (the baby? the lightning?!) — but restrained at other times. There are a number of scenes that are surprisingly effective despite the lack of any special effects; one scene involves a cursed key-chain.
I have to say, this is a kind of hidden treat. (I was actually expecting it to be unrelentingly awful, and found myself drawn in, and completely entertained.)
Rating: [•••½] out of [•••••]
Extra: It’s also a little bit adorable that the quote from the movie that someone saw fit to add to imdb’s “memorable quotes” section is:
Ben Caruso: I need you to do a little poking around.
Scott: That’s my speciality.
Because, really?
Posted by Ben on September 29, 2008
https://www.swordbilled.com/headhunter/
Q: Can you eat asbestos?
Answer: DON’T DO IT!
(The question being an actual search query that led someone here. I hope they read beyond the title…)
Posted by Ben on September 29, 2008
https://www.swordbilled.com/q-can-you-eat-asbestos/